Have you heard – pick your poison? Well words can be poison to our souls and livelihood, especially when we do not choose well. However, depending on what you take from a word will also affect how it affects your life. If you choose to just focus on the negativity, you will receive negativity back from the universe. We are all familiar with the say- ing, “You are what you eat.” I want to infect you with an even more powerful saying, “You are what you think and say.” One of the greatest truths in life is that it flows from the inside out. We are affected by what happens inside through our feelings and thoughts. This in turn affects our emotions, the words we speak, and the actions we choose to take.
The language we use shapes our lives. Language plays a very significant role in influencing our life and the real spirit of who we are. As farfetched as it may sound, but true, our language defines our happiness proportion and the quality of our life. And by just changing our language, there is a huge shift that can be invited into our life.
Speak affirmatively about yourself. When you begin to practice this you will be amazed to discover the increased strength you gain emotionally, spiritually, and most importantly, you are shaping the image on the inside to become your higher self. Rising higher is all up to you.
An ancient proverb says, “Whatever you send out comes back to you.” As you go throughout your day – as you are driving, as you are dressing the children, as you are taking a shower, working at your desk or even cooking dinner – in a small voice, declare positive spiritually accurate statements about yourself. Abundance is my birthright. I am an overcomer. My steps are ordered. Therefore, I have Infinite Power divinely at work inside of me. I can accomplish all that I set out to do easily and effectively. In Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, he suggests that happiness cannot be pursued, it must ensue. It awakens, arises, and appears. Happiness is a superpower.
Start your day with verbal intention.Express gratitude.
Follow difficult words with action words. Create a personal mantra.
Do the work consistently.
If you want to scale the mountain of life with passion and reach the pinnacle of human potential on the highest peak, then take charge of your thoughts and become the CEO of your life. You will develop new patterns of thinking. Changes will start to happen and positive thoughts will start to enter your mind. Act on them immediately and believe in your new reality. The results will change your life.

Stop Those Spinning Plates: A Single Mom’s Guide to Relax, Refresh, and Release

A single mom’s accountabilities certainly do not end the minute work is over each day. You may have what seems like a jam-packed day's worth of odd jobs awaiting you at home—from cooking dinner to doing laundry to helping your child with homework. Granting these same commitments are faced by employed mothers who are married, a single mother has to face these responsibilities unaided, with­out the helping hand of a husband.

For that reason, many single mothers feel regularly pooped. They frequently feel spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally drained and find themselves shouting more at their children. As their children matriculate through adolescence and nor­mally become more opinionated and challenging of their parents' points of view, more quarrels may develop.

Here’s the kicker, unless single moms set aside some down time to rest and recover, they can experience burnout and depression, feeling miserable and abandoned about trying to convert their lives into something more controllable. Having a lit­tle emotional backing or help around the house from another adult can go a long way toward assisting you to cope. However, let’s face it.  You’re doing alone what was designed to be a two-person job. The fact that you often feel physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually worn out is not just your imagination, it is real. But because your kids depend on you, you can’t afford to push yourself past a certain point. You must take care of yourself and your health in order to be there for them.

Get in the habit of taking a personal timeout (PTO), even if you have to exchange child care with another single parent you trust to make it happen. Use this time to recharge, refresh, and rejuvenate in some ways that will linger even when the plate spinning kicks back in: with meditation, exercise, pampering, or good old-fashioned sleep. These are all quick and easy energy igniters. NEWSFLASH!!! It’s not selfish to preserve the engine that keeps your home running: YOU.

Regardless of what you choose, the important thing is not to turn your stress-busters into stress-creators! In other words, don’t judge your efforts, and don’t get caught up in trying to find the perfect setting or time. Bathrooms stalls, parked cars, or even your office chair, are all viable spaces to implement some quick and easy energy igniters. Just set aside one minute, stop the plates from spinning, choose your routine, and let yourself relax.

Jotina is no stranger to loss, failure, and hardship. Her story of losses and triumphs evokes change across the world. She is trained in mind mapping, positive psychology, visioning, and spiritual development. Her creative approaches to create change and produce sustainability are truly world class change agents. Check out www.jotinabuck.com for more details on her new book Change Your Language, Change Your Life: Discovering What You Can Say Differently Today to Change Your Tomorrow and for details on her Positive Parenting Workshops. For booking email info@jotinabuck.com. Be sure to follow on social media @jotinab. 

The Power of Positive Single Parenting: What’s Right with my Child?

Today’s single moms have to deal with many issues…busier schedules, new technologies, and ever-changing day-to-day challenges are just a few of the things that we, as single moms, have to address. Fortunately, many of the issues we face can be made easier with open communication. By intentionally building good communication practices, we can ensure that our family remains strong, even when things get tough. Most of us are guilty of expressing “what is wrong” with our children. The goal of message is to discuss the importance of sharing “what is right” with our children and how to make single parenting easier.

I want to share a story with you. I will never forget the day my daughter’s 1st grade teacher broke the news that she was struggling in reading to the point of needing a private tutor. Keep in mind she is a very bright child. I immediately jumped on my soapbox and started to shake my finger and fuss at my “best girl” as I affectionately call her. It wasn’t until her teacher stopped me in my tracks and said, “Ms. Buck, your daughter is brilliant and I know you have a standard for her but we don’t want squash who she is becoming by communicating poorly”. I immediately began crying in remorse and feelings of self-guilt. What I didn’t know at the time was my daughter suffered with a rare vision impairment, strabismus and nerve thinning, which hindered her reading. While some would say, “Jotina you’re a teacher in elementary education. This should be easy”. Reality check…it was one of the hardest moments of my life. I literally had to re-build her self-esteem and confidence through affirmations. I encouraged her every effort. We spent long hours in reading tutorials and ocular therapy. I allowed her to write affirmations about herself and prayed strong prayers daily. At this point, I was determined to see the best in her and do whatever to ensure learning ensued. I am proud to say she passed her 3rd grade STAAR test with Advanced Commendation in Reading. I quickly learned, effective communication coupled with maximum efforts will always yield optimal results.

 As single parents we must take time to cultivate effective communication because it can change the course of our children’s lives completely. Not only must we communicate effectively to our children, we must teach them to speak positive messages about themselves. As the author of Change Your Language, Change Your Life, I strive to emphasis the importance of positive communication and how it influences the life we live. It is all about perspective.

 We are going to look at Positive Single Parenting, some possible barriers and how to overcome them. I will share small everyday steps to making our children’s futures successful.

 What is positive parenting?

Believing children want to communicate with you, listening to your children, discussing what you want them to do, yielding nurture and support, being very clear about what you want them to do, setting clear limits and boundaries, being firm and consistent, giving the same message every time, viewing disagreements between parents and children as opportunities to develop problem-solving skills and modeling the expected behaviors.

Three Tips to Positive Parenting:

Communication
·      Engage in conversation with your children at all times, not only when he or she is in trouble. Keep an open line of communication which builds trust, strengthens the relationship, and enhances social relationships and societal relevance.
·      When we communicate effectively and listen to our children, we build caring relationships.
·      Positive communication also aid in the developmental process (i.e. healthier relationships, more caring, and more responsible).

Compliments
·      Much like adults, children love praise. By all means compliment your children whenever they do a good job, even with the smallest task.
·      Compliments foster confidence.

Consequences
·      Establish rules and boundaries ahead of time. This helps your child understand that they are not being treated unfairly or in an unjust manner.
·      Established consequences teach responsibility.

These simple tips can change the course of your life and single parenting altogether. Gradually implement them day by day and watch life-change unfold. Language plays a significant role in influencing our life and the real spirit of who we are. Your words have power. Choose them wisely, especially when shaping the lives of your children. What words are you using to enhance your parent-child relationship?

Jotina is no stranger to loss, failure, and hardship. Her story of losses and triumphs evokes change across the world. She is trained in mind mapping, positive psychology, visioning, and spiritual development. Her creative approaches to create change and produce sustainability are truly world class change agents. Check out www.jotinabuck.com for more details on her new book Change Your Language, Change Your Life: Discovering What You Can Say Differently Today to Change Your Tomorrow and for details on her Positive Parenting Workshops. For booking email info@jotinabuck.com. Be sure to follow on social media @jotinab. 

I can finally admit I’ve been a pretty controlling person all my life. Don’t blame me! It’s my parents and siblings fault! Lol…After all, I am the baby of my family and a sad face oft times got results. Well, I have learned over time and the hard way that a sad face with God doesn’t really work. He does things when He wants and how He wants. Many times in the past I’ve lost hope and peace because everything looked the same month after month and things were not happening on MY TIME.

The more I journey with God the more liberated I become to “JUST BE” and allow Him to be in Control! I am convinced that if we could really see how God is orchestrating everything behind the scenes, we wouldn’t worry. I believe with my whole heart that God has a bright prearranged future for each of you. Use your spiritual imagination to peer into the unseen realm and see God working things out in your favor!

Release control and dismiss the daunting questions…How am I going to get through this problem? Why won’t my dream come to past? How can I change my child? When am I going to get married?

Instead say, “Father, I trust you. I believe you are in complete control. And even though I may not see anything tangible happening, I believe you are working in my life, going before me, making crooked places straight, and causing me to be at the right place at the right time. I release total control to you and I embrace peace.” #changeyourlanguage #changeyourlife

The power of speaking positive is like a car with a powerful engine that can take you to the summit of a mountain. Positive speaking does not mean you keep your head in the sand and ignore life’s unpleasant realities. On the contrary, it means that you will approach life’s roller coasters with a positive mind and a optimistic outlook.
 
I will never forget being in high school and attending pep rally after pep rally every week. I often wondered why we had pep rallies if our football team kept losing. My thoughts, there’s no sense in celebrating a losing team. Then years later when I had to be my own personal cheerleader after failing in life over and over again is when I fully understood the necessity of the “pep rally.” It does not matter what life throws your way, make a decision to look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself the best pep talk ever.
 
It is perfectly fine to talk to yourself. Psychologists define self-talk as intrapersonal communication or communication occurring in the mind of the individual in a model which contains a sender Receiver, and feedback loop. In short, we as human beings are wired so uniquely that we have the power to control the internal communications so much so that our entire life is changed by way of how we think and speak.
 
My encouragements to you today is get in the mirror, look at yourself, and give yourself the best pep talk every day. You must talk like you are in the fourth quarter of the game and the time clock is running down, you are tired of losing, and everything you have is depending on this one last play.
 
Tell yourself, I WILL WIN!

A few months ago I was watching the ESPY Awards and was inspired by a young lady who had experienced trauma after some of her greatest accomplishments. She had sought out all her life to become a great sports journalist. During her era, a woman becoming a sports journalist was unheard of but she was determined. She landed a job with ESPN and from there she began to soar. About 15 years into her career she transitioned from sports journalist to one of prime time television morning broadcasts, Good Morning America. While she had then exceeded her lifetime goal and was soaring high...she received the news that would knock her down off her pedestal. This woman was told she had breast cancer. And before the nation Robin Roberts fought cancer. She'd periodically appear on Good Morning America she worked while showing the world what courage look like. Unbeknownst to the world, in her private time she struggled with, WHY ME? After going into remission and celebrating, Robin received more devastating news. The treatment had given her a blood disease that called for her to have to receive a bone marrow transplant and be quarantined. During this time, her mother was gravely ill and she had to go be with her. Well, she watched her mother take her last breaths. Keep in mind, the world was watching. Many asked Robin why did she allow the cameras to follow her through such a traumatic and seemingly private experience...Robin said, “My mom always taught me to Make my Mess my Message.”

I gain great inspiration in Robin Robert’s message and her story resonates in my heart. I want to echo the sentiments of Robin’s mother, “MAKE YOUR MESS YOUR MESSAGE!”

How to make your mess your message ?

You must have Courage to Face Your Past….
 
I know you're asking. What does my past have to do with where I currently am? I'm glad you asked.  Oft times in life we find ourselves in places where we've made a mess too big to bare. We are often haunted by our past and secrets. We try our best to suppress it. Life has dealt us a few tough blows and essentially knocked us down. Being the humans we are we find ourselves saying, “Oh I'm okay! It'll be better tomorrow.” When our friends or family ask us how we're doing. We quickly say, “Oh I'm great, I'm blessed and highly favored.”  Y'all know how we do. We want to quickly rush through those conversations so we can simply get on with our life already. We internalize the mess or state we're in and in some cases sink into a fatal state of depression, anxiety, or stress.



Please understand...Your past is a part of who you are and who you will become. But you'll never be able to fully share the message without first facing your past

You must have Courage to Tell the Story…

Once you've faced your past, don't be afraid to tell the story. Yes it is scary and can be a bit overwhelming but somebody out there is waiting on you and your story. The things we experience in life are not meant for us to keep them to ourselves. God's glory is wrapped up in your story. His glory is waiting to be revealed. There's healing in your story, there's increased faith in your story, there's revelation in that story, there's wholeness in that story! And ultimately there's help for someone else in your story. Just think if you don't share your message they can't be delivered from their mess. I know it scary to share your story and share with people where you been and even in some cases where you currently are. But the bible tells us that we are overcome by the words of our testimony (Revelation 12:11).   Have the courage to tell the story.
 
You must have Courage to Celebrate your Future…

Lastly you must have the courage to celebrate your future. I know people will think you’re crazy or have completely lost your mind. Don't worry, your future is bright. There is greater ahead. No it may not look like it now because all the mess is piled up still but be of good courage and faith God is prepared to deliver you to a place of greater. Starting today begin to speak positive affirmations about your life and your future.
 
As you journey with Jotina Buck. The Teacher. The Speaker. The Visionary. It is my sincere desire to courageously share the many layers of my story and inspire change in the world!